Why people may be "fighting" you.

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This excerpt is from Conflict Prevention In The Workplace - Cooperative Communication, published by Bacal & Associates. It is only available directly from us.

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The way you communicate is the primary determinant of whether the person you are interacting with will listen and think about what you say, be indifferent to it, OR, fight like heck against it. We've made a list of the most common, and detrimental ways of communicating that usually completely block the communication process.

Needless to say, if you want to reduce arguments, and have your position heard and considered, whether at home or at work, these approaches should be avoided.

People tend to resist communication, argue, or perceive conflict when the other person:

• Provides unsolicited advice

• Appears to be trying to create guilt in another

• Offers reassurances that are hollow or not based on reality

• Communicates using "gloss it over" positive thinking

• Offers sympathy that seems false or lacking in understanding

• Pressures a person to change (opinion, position or as a person)

• Appears to want to blame rather than fix

• Clearly wants to "win" by proving someone wrong

• Comes across as infallible (in their own mind)

• Uses excessive dramatic language and histrionics

• Uses certain kinds of "hot words", words and phrases that have a heavy emotional connotation.

For more information on this and other workplace topics, including free helpcards, discussion lists and book chapters go to the Work911 supersite.